Music: Best Songs of the Decade, Part 2 (F-K)

Fall Out Boy – “What a Catch, Donnie”
From the album Folie à Deux (Decaydance, 2008)
All that stuff you probably hate about Fall Out Boy (I, for one, consistently enjoy their work and I will not apologize for it)? That's all put to death in this song. As a cavalcade of guest stars--Elvis Costello among them--sing snippets of past hits, the old band is fading away. What emerges is a band that could go any direction. I can't wait to see what that is.


The Flaming Lips – “Do You Realize??”
From the album Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots (Warner Bros, 2002)
The song that took the Oklahoma band from favorite of college-aged druggies to wedding staple.


Fleet Foxes – “White Winter Hymnal”
From their self-titled debut album (Sub Pop, 2008)
Walkin' in a winter wonderland, with a dark edge. Haunting.


Foo Fighters – “Best of You”
From the album In Your Honor (RCA, 2005)
Their fifth album (or at least this song) finds the Grohl-fronted band at their most focused. Their rage, the howl, the feeling of righteous indignation all culminates in this biting cut.


The Format – “The First Single”
From the album Interventions + Lullabies (Elektra, 2003)
It was basically a joke, spitting into the face of record labels who wanted to "format" them and demand the perfect first single. But Elektra records got what they wanted. This is about as great as pop songs get.


Franz Ferdinand – “Take Me Out”
From their self-titled debut album (Domino, 2004)
Back when they still had swagger, the Scottish band took wordplay to heights not seen since the heyday of the Smiths. Is it about hooking up or snipers caught in the crossfire?


The Fratellis – “Chelsea Dagger”
From the album Costello Music (Fallout, 2006)
Somewhere in the self-seriousness of the decade, bands forgot how to have fun. This Scottish trio is the grand foray back into enjoyable rock music.


The Freelance Hellraiser – “A Stroke of Genius” (2001)
The mash-up that made everyone want to do one. Edgy pop or glitzy indie-rock? Either way, it's one of the decade's essential party track.


Girl Talk – “Play Your Part (Parts 1 and 2)”
From the album Feed the Animals (Illegal Art, 2008)
The songs that bookend DJ Gregg Gillis's indispensable 2008 party album are the perfect complements. Things kick off with a foot-stomping mash-up of “Oh, Pretty Woman”, “Gimme Some Lovin’” and UGK's “International Player’s Anthem”. At the end, things close out with a reprise of “International Player’s Anthem”, beautifully spliced with Journey's “Faithfully”.


Gnarls Barkley – “Crazy”
From the album St. Elsewhere (Atlantic, 2006)
The ultimate out-of-left-field hit single, obscure rappers Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo collaborated for a great song that transcended genres. Maybe they were crazy, but they got everyone's attention.


David Gray – “Please Forgive Me”
From the album White Ladder (IHT, 2000)
Originally released in 1999, but re-released after White Ladder finally hit it big thanks to “Babylon”, this is the Manchester singer-songwriter's finest hour. Unabashedly romantic without ever getting sappy.


Guillemots – “Trains to Brazil”
From the album Through the Windowpane (Polydor, 2006)
Perhaps the most joyous four minutes recorded this decade. It makes it all but impossible to sit down while listening to this song.


Joe Henry – “God Only Knows”
From the album Civilians (ANTI-, 2007)
Few artists deserve a Tom Waits comparison, but it's apt here. He deals in world-weary bar ballads, and none was more devastating than this 2007 cut, used to underscore a tribute to 2008's fallen filmmakers.


Hillsong United – “From the Inside Out”
From the album United We Stand (Hillsong, 2006)
After hundreds of uses in churches throughout the world, Joel Houston's 2006 praise & worship song still resonates.


The Hold Steady – “Stuck Between Stations”
From the album Boys and Girls in America (Vagrant, 2006)
Sal Paradise was right: “Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together.” In just four short minutes, the Minneapolis band captures that essence of that phrase and kicks off an album that understood what it's like to be lost in the delirium of romance and alcohol.


Jay-Z – “99 Problems”
From The Black Album (Roc-a-Fella, 2004)
Had this really been Jigga's swan song, it would have been a fitting tribute to the unstoppable MC. Of course, he couldn't stay away from the game he loved so much. Regardless, this is the finest rap song of the decade, a sundown for an era ruled by boasting, which gave way to the modern era of goofiness.


Jet – “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”
From the album Get Born (Elektra, 2003)
Before they self-destructed, the Australian band had the song everyone wanted. It also proved Apple could make any song a Top 10 hit, as long as it made it into an iPod ad. It's still my go-to karaoke song.


Jimmy Eat World – “Your House”
From the album Bleed American (DreamWorks, 2001)
The most earnest plea to stay since Lisa Loeb declared “I Miss You”. The band are experts at crafting deceptively upbeat pop songs that mask deep sadness and this is their best.


Scarlett Johansson – “Anywhere I Lay My Head”
From the album Anywhere I Lay My Head (Atco, 2008)
The song I know I'll have to most vehemently defend: the ingenue's cover of Tom Waits's seminal ballad sounds just as off-beat and world-weary. In her defense, Waits can't sing either.


Keane – “Is it Any Wonder?”
From the album Under the Iron Sea (Island, 2006)
If their debut album was Hopes and Fears, their sophomore effort was all about the latter. With everything that happened in the two-year gap between these albums, it's no wonder the band sounded more hopeless, but also more polished.


R. Kelly – “Ignition Remix”
From the album Chocolate Factory (Jive, 2003)
He's never sounded like he cared less. It's the epitome of effortless cool.


Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor – “Elephant Love Medley”
From the soundtrack album Moulin Rouge! (Interscope, 2001)
It begins with Sweet and ends with Elton John. In between it's the ultimate love song, because it cherry-picks the best love songs from decades past into a decadent smorgasbord of cheese. That Baz Luhrmann is really on to something.


The Killers – “All These Things That I’ve Done”
From the album Hot Fuss (Island, 2004)
Saddled with guilt from growing up in the excess of Las Vegas, Brandon Flowers' sorrowful track is a wringing-of-hands tune that feels like something more than catharsis.


Kings of Leon – “The Bucket”
From the album Aha Shake Heartbreak (RCA, 2005)
Long before they became every college co-eds favorite indie band, the Southern rockers were trafficking heavily in the horrors of early on-set stardom. If it wasn't so earnest, it would come across as whiny. But the family act knew how to cultivate sorrow over grungy guitars. They changed the game for their next album, but the soul was still there, even if the songs lamented about how they might be losing theirs.


The Knife – “Heartbeats”
From the album Deep Cuts (Electropop, 2006)
Weird as weird gets, but there's a romantic layer underneath all that electronic pastiche.

Music: Best Songs of the Decade, Part 1 (A-E)

Ryan Adams – “Come Pick Me Up”
From the album Heartbreaker (Bloodshot, 2000)
More than just a drunken lament, this is one of many tracks that live up to the album's title and heralded the debut of one of the decade's best songwriters.


Adele – “Chasing Pavements”
From the album 19 (XL, 2008)
She may have only been the age of her album when she wrote this song, but she showed a maturity and depth many singers twice her age have yet to grasp.


Animal Collective – “My Girls”
From the album Merriweather Post Pavilion (Domino, 2009)
Really, any song from this late-decade masterwork could have made this list, but I went with this eternally sunny single. Think of it as the hipster equivalent of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.


Arcade Fire – “Wake Up”
From the album Funeral (Merge, 2005)
Few songs elicit the emotional response of this single from the decade's best album. Brutally honest but honestly hopeful, this is a truly uplifting song.


Badly Drawn Boy – “The Shining”
From the album The Hour of Bewilderbeast (XL, 2000)
Could a song that takes its title from a terrifying novel and film be so beautiful? Only when Damon Gough is behind it.


Beck – “Lost Cause”
From the album Sea Change (Geffen, 2002)
His break-up album (the decade's best) saw Mr. Hansen doing a complete 180 from his sample-heavy irony-laden compositions. This is him stripped and raw. He needs to do more of this.


Beyoncé – “Crazy in Love”
From the album Dangerously in Love (Columbia, 2003)
Riding a sample from the O'Jays, Beyoncé announced her independence to the world with this No. 1 smash hit. Though she's been hit-or-miss since, this was the ultimate summer song in 2003, and still holds up today.


blink-182 – “I Miss You”
From their self-titled album (Geffen, 2004)
From the band the once called their life-on-the-road memoir Tales from Beneath Your Mom came a side we hadn't seen before: the honest, mature side. Too bad they broke up not long after this.


Bloc Party – “Always New Depths”
From the single “Helicopter” (Wichita, 2004)
Their "what-a-horrifying-present-we-live-in" debut was devastating, but on this B-side, they found a glimmer of hope. It would have helped them on their follow-ups.


Bon Iver – “Skinny Love”
From the album For Emma, Forever Ago (Jagjaguwar, 2008)
Recorded in a cabin in the Wisconsin woods, this is the raw, unfiltered sound of a man whose life was in shambles and is slowly beginning to piece it back together.


Brand New – “Jesus”
From the album The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me (Interscope, 2007)
Filled with doubt, listeners feel every ounce of Jesse Lacey's existential crisis. It's an ambiguous song with no easy answers.


Bright Eyes – “One Foot in Front of the Other”
From the compilation album Saddle Creek 50 (Saddle Creek, 2003)
Later re-recorded under the title “Landlocked Blues”, Conor Oberst's best song (and that's saying something) captures everything that sucked about this decade, but implores the listener to continue on and move like the title.


Broken Social Scene – “Lover’s Spit”
From the album You Forgot it in People (Arts & Crafts, 2002)
So the song's pretty disgusting, but the Montreal band turned into something lovely. Just one of many glorious cuts from their 2002 album.


Camera Obscura – “Let’s Get Out of This Country”
From the album Let’s Get Out of This Country (Merge, 2006)
The title track makes you want to run away and forget your troubles. The perfect song for such an uneasy decade.


Johnny Cash – “Hurt”
From the album American IV: The Man Comes Around (American, 2003)
Going above and beyond what a cover song can do, this is a lifetime of pain recorded in four minutes. It still packs a wallop.


Kelly Clarkson – “Since U Been Gone”
From the album Breakaway (RCA, 2004)
When American Idol's first winner sang "I'm so movin' on," she wasn't just talking to that loser of an ex. She was kissing the old guard of pre-packaged, polished pop music goodbye.


Coldplay – “Swallowed in the Sea”
From the album X&Y (Capitol, 2005)
It was nearly impossible to find Coldplay's ultimate track from their first decade of recording. But I had to go with this earnest plea from their underrated 2005 album. This is them at their peak.


David Crowder*Band – “How He Loves”
From the album Church Music (sixsteps, 2009)
No one in Christian music was as innovative as the Waco native. Here, he re-tools the acoustic praise song into an electronic ballad that's even more emotional than the original.


Daft Punk – “One More Time”
From the album Discovery (Discovery, 2000)
As the decade draws to a close, the French band has made it clear that no matter how difficult the times have been, it's important to cherish those good times, because they might be gone tomorrow. But it would all come off as trite if it wasn't so danceable. Kudos to you, robots.


The Darkness – “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”
From the album Permission to Land (Atlantic, 2003)
Hair metal for people who don't like hair metal, Justin Hawkins' falsetto cracked windows but also landed its way into listeners' hearts. It'll make a believer out of you, too.


Death Cab for Cutie – “I Was Once a Loyal Lover”
From the EP The Open Door (Atlantic, 2009)
Ben Gibbard's been displaying his heart on the record sleeve for years now, but this track from his 2009 EP may just be his best. He's trying to get his stuff together, but it might be easier said than done.


Eminem – “Stan”
From the album The Marshall Mathers LP (Aftermath, 2000)
Perhaps the most terrifying song of the decade, Shady's account of a fan on the edge hooks the listener in with that beautiful refrain from Dido (and later, Elton John) but its gripping details haunt you long afterward.


Explosions in the Sky – “Your Hand in Mine”
From the album The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place (Temporary Residence Limited, 2003)
Without a single word, the Austin band says more about relationships than many artists do with the best writers at their disposal. Truly mesmerizing.

Music: Worst Songs of the Decade

3OH!3 – “Don’t Trust Me”
From the album Want
The biggest insult of the decade. Not only to women, but also to anyone with ears and a brain. I wish Helen Keller was still alive so she could beat the crap out of these two.


Akon featuring Snoop Dogg – “I Wanna Love You”
From the album Konvicted
Does it sound like Akon's disingenuous here? That's because this is the poorly edited-for-radio version of his album track "I Wanna F*** You". Now, take another look at that single cover. Are you creeped out? Because you should be.


The Black Eyed Peas – “My Humps”
From the album Monkey Business
Exhibit A in the case to bring the Black Eyed Peas up on charges of terrorism. A diabolically crafted song, designed to get stuck in your head and push you to the point of suicide. Instead of jail time, the band got a Grammy for this. Seriously.


James Blunt – “You’re Beautiful”
From the album Back to Bedlam
I'll admit. I fell under the spell of this song back in 2005. Now, it's like a bitter memory and I can't believe I bought into it. My ears deserve better than you, James Blunt.


BrokeNCYDE – “Freaxxx”
From the album I'm Not a Fan... But the Kids Like It!
If you can make it more than 30 seconds into this song, you deserve a medal. If I was ranking these songs, this would be No. 1 by far. Nothing this horrible should ever be recorded or sung or even thought up. A downright atrocity.


Buckcherry – “Crazy Bitch”
From the album 15
What this L.A. band lacks in songwriting ability, they make up for with a heaping dose of misogyny. Swoon, women, swoon!


Aaron Carter – “America A.O.”
From the album Another Earthquake
Nick Carter's little brother wants you to know that you can't mess with America. Enemies of the United States cower in fear.


Cobra Starship featuring Leighton Meester – “Good Girls Go Bad”
From the album Hot Mess
Taking douchiness to extreme new heights, the ostentatious band enlists the help of the Gossip Girl "star" for this horrendous ode to loose women. You only make women run away, Mr. Saporta.


Crazy Frog – “Axel F” / Gummibar – “I Am Your Gummy Bear”
A frozen Snickers bar? That's a novelty. These are what you call travesties. The former was No. 1 in the UK, which I guess proves they'll listen to anything. No one in America would listen to anything that bad...


Fergie featuring will.i.am – “Fergalicious”
From the album The Dutchess
... except maybe this, a song that's catchy like an STD. You know, misspelling "tasty" (as in "T to the A to the S-T-E-Y") is acceptable if you're running a burger joint in Texas, but when you're describing yourself, you come off as even more repulsive.


Flo Rida featuring T-Pain – “Low”
From the soundtrack album Step Up 2: The Streets
Ladies and gentlemen, your best-selling single of the decade. Who could resist a woman in baggy sweatpants and Reeboks with the straps, especially when she turns around to give that big booty a slap? Oh, Flo Rida, you are the poet laureate of the club.


Paris Hilton – “Stars are Blind” / Heidi Montag – “Higher”
Since neither of these singers are real people, why should anyone expect their songs to feel anything less than manufactured?


Hinder – “Lips of an Angel”
From the album Extreme Behavior
There's rarely been more irony in a line than when Austin Winkler sings "It's really good to hear your voice." No, no it's not. But what really pissed me off about this song was how much women loved it, even though it's about cheating with your ex. But he's from Oklahoma, so I don't expect him to be classy.


Toby Keith – “Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue (The Angry American)”
From the album Unleashed
The subtitle must refer to the listener of this song because not a single line works. To describe 9/11 as a "mighty sucker punch" cheapens the horror of that day. To say "we lit up your world like the 4th of July" is outrageous because whose world are we talking about? All of the Middle East? That's not fair to the millions of people who had nothing to do with the attacks. To say "we'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way" doesn't make the U.S. of A look so good. Please, let's get a new PR guy in here.


Madonna – “American Life”
From the album American Life
Let's just look at some of the ridiculousness here: she describes how she feels "super-duper" when she drives her MINI Cooper, she rhymes yoga and Pilates with "the room is full of hotties," and talks about how dope "this metaphysics sh**" is. Someone needs to stop rapping, immediately.


New Boyz – “You’re a Jerk”
From the EP Skinny Jeans and a Mic
Is that all I had to do to write a hit song? Find an insult and repeat it 18,000 times over some ProTools samples? Man, I am in the wrong business.


Nickelback – “Something in Your Mouth”
From the album Dark Horse
I don't think I need to explain anything with a title like that.


Pussycat Dolls – “When I Grow Up”
From the album Doll Domination
A one-hit wonder is all that a burlesque troupe should aspire to be, but unfortunately people keep listening to them. This might be their worst song, but anything they've recorded could be a contender, especially their butchering of A.R. Rahman's Oscar-winning "Jai Ho".


Rihanna – “Unfaithful”
From the album A Girl Like Me
When she sang "I don't wanna do this anymore," I really hoped she was talking about singing this song. She's giving herself entirely too much credit here, equating cheating with murder. Apparently her infidelity is literally killing her boyfriend. I envy him, because I wanted to die after hearing this song.


Asher Roth – “I Love College”
From the album Asleep in the Bread Aisle
Things Asher Roth has never done: passed a class, written a good song, said something intelligent.


(tie) Ashlee Simpson – “La La”
From the album Pieces of Me
Ashley Tisdale – “He Said She Said”
From the album Headstrong
It's a battle of the Ashes for the worst song ever. Both these are tawdry little trifles that aren't instantly forgettable and incredibly unsexy, as it should be, because you were both TEENAGERS when you recorded these songs. The competition is still neck-and-neck.


Soulja Boy Tell 'Em featuring Arab – “Yahhh!”
From the album souljaboytellem.com
I can forgive "Crank That" because there was a dance associated with it, and people love stupid dances (see also: "Macarena", "Cupid Shuffle", "Cha-Cha Slide"). But this, this I cannot abide. It's an all-out assault on the ears, recorded on the 17-year-old kid's home computer. It's the musical equivalent of an IED.


Britney Spears – “If U Seek Amy”
From the album Circus
This song from album No. 2 in Spears' comeback discography was originally titled, "Look at Me (I'm Still Popular! I'm Still Sexy! I'm Still Edgy!) Look at Me! Look at Me!"


Swizz Beats with Ja Rule and Metallica – “We Did it Again”
From the soundtrack album Biker Boyz
If I had to pick the three people I would less want to hear on one track, I don't know if I could have done any better than this.


Neil Young – “Let’s Impeach the President”
From the album Living with War
Listen, Mr. Young. You've written some great songs over the years. "Heart of Gold". "After the Gold Rush". "Rockin' in the Free World". Man, that was a great song. So, if you're so pissed about the president, why can't you write anything better than this? Take an example from one of your disciples on how to write a good protest song.