14 January 2008

Worst of 2007

Scarred (MTV)
Below the bottom of the barrel of MTV's reality shows lies this appalling clip show of skateboard injuries, which plays to the worst of humanity. This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos, where a simple groin hit will be recovered from in a day; this is real people getting grave injuries, and one wonders what they wouldn't do to get on television.

Runner-up: National Bingo Night (ABC)
Representing the ultimate in lack of thought, this spot-filler is actually an adaptation of an Australian game show. But even more alarming is that this show was aired EVEN WHEN THE WRITERS WERE STILL WORKING. Way to go, ABC. May you be hit the hardest ratings-wise when the strike gets into full-swing.

Soulja Boy - "Crank That (Soulja Boy)"
From that horrible homemade steel drum intro to his incomprehensible mumbling to disgusting lines like "Superman that ho!", could any other song hold the spot as worst of the year? Tell 'em.

Runner-up: Avril Lavigne featuring Lil' Mama - "Girlfriend (Remix)"
In which the Canadian "punk" popper makes her summer smash--encouraging tweens everywhere to be homewreckers and sluts--even worse, by enlisting inexplicable critic darling and "Lip Gloss" smacker. By the way, Toni Basil wants her beat back.

Daddy Day Camp (dir. Fred Savage)
What a pity that such a nice guy and good actor would step behind the camera for this dreck, a follow-up to the already dreadful Daddy Day Care, though it's hard to tell this is a sequel when no one from the original even bothered to show up. Worse yet, Cuba Gooding Jr. ruined the shot at redemption he earned by his great turn in American Gangster.

Runner-up: Ghost Rider (dir. Mark Steven Johnson)
Other than Sam Elliott's jovial cameo as the original Rider, there's not much to love here. From Nic Cage's sleep-walking Elvis impersonation to the utter lack of chemistry between Cage and Mendes to the completely lame supervillains, this will go down as one of the worst comic book adaptations of all-time.

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